I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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