the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
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