the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
