i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
