Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
