the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
