I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
