Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
