Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
