somebody snuck up and got me drunk
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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