I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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