where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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