I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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