I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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