i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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