have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
