I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
