Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
