When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
