a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Is this like a preordered booty call?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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