what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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