Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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