who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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