She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
