I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
