One blow job doesn not make me gay.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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