Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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