i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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