Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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