Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I came so hard my ears popped.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
