i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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