I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
