Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
