I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
this just has baby written all over it
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
