we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
