She said her name was "party"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
