It's Friday. Sex?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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