okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
People with herpes should wear stickers.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
