He had one of those small greek statue penises
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
