Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
