I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
