last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize