I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
