Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
