nut hugger
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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