Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
