We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
