Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
