I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
