I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize