I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
