No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
