there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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