Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
