So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
