wrigley field is MILF paradise
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize