too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
