you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
