I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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