Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
