singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
someone owes me an orgasm
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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