We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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