We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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