Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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