I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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