Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
