her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
