You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
