I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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